Single Indulgence; Why Some Woman Find the Single Life Empowering
Nov 17, 2013 02:48PM
Once you enter singletown everyone usually assumes you are sobbing watching chick flicks while devouring wine and chocolate. Although the first 24 hours might be spent doing just this, you might find once you have emerged from your pity coma you may come to enjoy the single life. After surveying several single women I found that many of them were perfectly happy and actually indulging in the single life.
There are plenty of single woman who are happy. Yes I said it, we are okay with being single. This is not to say that we don’t like having a man around, or that we don’t enjoy relationships, but for now while we are single many of us are enjoying what the single life has to offer.
What? But how can this be? Aren’t we trained from the time we are in pigtails to wait for our prince, to find a man, that we will never be complete unless we are married up and busting out babies?
For those of us who have been married or in long term relationships that have been less then successful, we know there can sometimes be no happiness in partnering with the wrong mate, and many of us have often stayed too long just because we were afraid of being single. Single at this age, single with kids, single at the next function, or just plain single and alone.
After posing the question to my single girlfriends, ‘What do you like about being single?’ There were an undoubtedly themes among answers. Many of women are taking the opportunity to find themselves, self-indulge, answer to no one but themselves, not be influenced by others, let go of guilt, and grow as individuals.
Although embracing the single can be empowering, many of us admit we all have our days when we see happily married woman skipping about, where we feel like we are single leper and the urge to hit up nearest drive through and have a date with our dogs and a milk shake can over take our typically blissful single life.
When those urges strike these are the things to remember:
We all love the sense of freedom and ability to make our own choices without having to get the sign off from our partner on anything. We can eat cereal for dinner and line our closets with 80 pairs of pink heels and there is no one to answer to except us.
“So many reasons I love being single but I think I'd have to go with calling the shots... Being able to do what I want, whenever I want!”
In relationships as woman we typically tend to compromise, it’s just in our nature, to make our partner happy, then to make the children happy, all while telling ourselves this is just what needs to be done in a relationship. In essence it is true compromise is good, but while you are single you can enjoy not having to compromise.
“I can sum it up easily. I only answer to me. I get to do what I want when I want and not feel guilty about it. It’s quite selfish sounding isn’t it?”
Control Over Your Own Finances
Maybe it’s time you save for a vacation home, plan a vacation, or spend money on something special for yourself. You can do all of these things with our consulting the opinion of anyone else. Where you chose to spend your money is your choice, and your choice only.
“I love the fact that finances constrained only by your own needs and demands...not asking permission or consultation on how to spend money.”
You can take time to foster relationships with friends and family
Sometimes in a relationship much of your time can be spent with your significant other, their friends, and their family. Add children into the equation and you might have neglected some of your pals and your family. Take the time to realize how essential and affirming all of these different connections can be, and how much you need to care for them when you’re back into a relationship again
Your Mood and Emotions are controlled by you
You will no longer have to deal with someone else’s emotional baggage and drama and their mood can affect yours. Your mood can strictly be based on what is going on in your own life good or bad, at least they are all your own.
Opportunity to Love and Find Yourself
You can decide the things that you love about being single — the parts of you that you absolutely don’t want to disappear when you get into a relationship — and learn to set boundaries around them. You can refuse relationships that encroach on your personal time or ability to make your own choices.
“Know you do not need someone in your life unless you choose to have them there.”
Once you take the time to relish and indulge all these things, the fear of being alone might just diminish. You might just realize being single could be just what you needed.
Melissa is a working mother of two boys. She is currently the Community Relations Coordinator for Douglas County Nevada and is a freelance writer and photo journalist.Melissa has also worked as a certified personal trainer helping women get back into shape and find motivation.