by Craig Nielson
Certified Professional Life Coach
The famous Beatles song tell us "All you need is love." Love is likely the most common subject in all of music. Many songs have been written about love in many contexts. Probably none more so than the pain of love lost.
Sometimes love hurts. When love hurts you may build up walls to protect yourself. You become guarded, and even suspicious of those who might be trying to get close to you. The problem is when you are guarded, true love cannot get in. Love gives freely, unconditionally, but it can only come alive with you when you are open to being loved.
When love hurts it can become scary. As you open yourself up to love, you become vulnerable. When you are afraid to take the risk, you avoid love. This keeps you lonely and isolated. You might begin to think that true love does not exist and end up settling for less in your relationships.
If you are experiencing pain from love lost, take time to cultivate the love of yourself. When love is lost, it creates room for you to grow. Take this as an opportunity to develop into a more loving person. Be good to yourself. Renew yourself spiritually and intellectually. Reading a good self help book can also be uplifting. The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz is a great book for developing love of self and others.
When you begin to love and accept yourself completely, the purpose behind all that you do changes. You eat healthy because you understand that food is what nourishes your body. You exercise vigorously because you see working out as form a self care. The hard work you put in is done for you and not to impress someone else. Your motivation comes from the love you have for yourself and what you do is done by choice.
If you want love, you must be love. You cannot give what you do not have. Therefore loving yourself in essential to being able to give love unconditionally and experience all the joy that comes with it. Each choice you make is either fear based or conscious based. Love is always a conscious choice. Chose to love yourself and chose to love others. What goes around, comes around. Let love come alive in you, and allow it to come your way.