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YOU GAVE HIM YOUR NUMBER. NOW WHAT?

Nov 06, 2012 05:00AM

You gave him your number. Now what?

by Craig Nielson

Let’s use our imagination here. You are at a club, coffee house, gym, school or on a plane—your choice. A nice, attractive guy engages you in a conversation and you quickly hit it off with each other.  You really like this guy and hope he will ask you out.  Alas, he tells you he would love to take you to dinner and politely asks for your phone number.  You oblige and he happily says, "Great! I will call you soon."

One, two, three days go by. No phone call. Four, five, six days go by. No phone call, not even a text.  Seven, eight, nine, ten days go by and still no attempt by him to contact you.  What is going on here?  Pause and imagine for a minute before reading on.

How did this scenario unfold for you?  Many women tend to think things like he’s not into you, or after he had time to think about it, he didn’t think you were pretty enough. Another thought could be that he has a girlfriend already or that he was trying to be nice but didn’t really want to go out with you.  Did you create some similar outcomes?  If you did, the key to remember is that you created it.

Know the difference between what is genuine and what is fake. Genuine refers to what can be proven without a doubt.  In this case, what is genuine is the phone is not ringing.  What is fake is anything you believe as a result of it, but cannot be proven. The things you create from negative thinking, worrying, and expecting the worst-case scenario to unfold are real.

By considering what is genuine you have the freedom to be less concerned about it or to think differently.  For all you know he may have gotten scared and felt you were too good for him.  He may have thought there is no way he could impress you, so why bother.  He may have just lost your number, or even had a terrible accident and was unable to use the phone.

Day 11: He calls, apologizes for not calling sooner, and tells you he has been very busy with work and did not want to call you late at night.  This was the first chance he has had to call, and he wants to take you for dinner.   All is okay. However, for ten days you made yourself miserable.

The National Cancer Institute reveals several studies that have been done on the physical effects of worrying, creating stress, which can cause a higher chance of high blood pressure and/or heart disease. Quit your worrying and follow these tips:

Recognize Fact from Fiction

In this scenario, the reality (what is genuine) is that the phone isn’t ringing. The ensuing negative thoughts are the fiction (what is fake)Once you recognize fact versus fiction, stop and re-evaluate. Then you can prevent the avalanche of troubling negative thoughts and worry.

Quiet Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic is the one talking when your thoughts turn negative. Dispute this inner voice with positive affirmations and don't fall for its lies.

Motivate Yourself

Your positive affirmations need energy behind them.  Negative thoughts and behaviors are habits that have developed over time.  When you think negatively you are putting energy into them.  Shift that energy.  Habits are tough to break.  Think of your affirmations like a muscle that has atrophied and your negative thinking like a well-developed muscle.  To compete with your negative thinking your affirmations will have to work much harder to catch up before lasting change can occur.

Energy can be drained or boosted, depending upon where your thoughts turn. You experience life exactly the way you expect to find it.  Change your thoughts and change your life.

 

*Photo courtesy of stock.xchng